My father had a heart attack on Easter. My first thought was to drop everything and run to New York to be with him. This is where it gets sticky. I am a teacher first. Always and forever, I have to judge every decision I make by how it will affect my students. So I had to sit down and write out days of sub plans for "just in case." I started to become resentful of my career choice. I started to wonder how many others have to put their families on hold because no one else can just come in and take over. I was struck by how often I feel I have to defend myself against parents or community members who think we should be on call 24/7. When my sister had her baby over Christmas break I had parents write and complain that I didn't enter grades over vacation. I responded with my happy news and they felt like that was "no excuse." I was angry and hurt. Then there are those who are in our profession spouting off about just being thankful for having a job. What the hell is wrong with these people? I guess I just wonder sometimes. I wonder why it is that we are suppose to be these perfect people always willing to sacrifice. Who else is held to such a standard? Sometimes I just want to let it all go and be the daughter, sister, partner, aunt, or friend that I am known and loved for. Is that really too much to ask?
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